Bedroom Eyes
Consent is Not Radical (Part 3 Continued): Erotophobia and Bystander Consent

Consent is Not Radical (Part 3 Continued): Erotophobia and Bystander Consent

August 3, 2021

This is the second episode of Consent is Not Radical (Part 3), carried over from the last episode. In the third installment of my Consent is Not Radical series, I focus on ways in which radical consent theory reinforces erotophobia by casting sexual acts and expression that occur in public as unethical and harmful when they lack the consent of bystanders who witness it.

In this episode, I focus more on indecent exposure, public sex, the relationship between minors and consent, the effects of sexual media on children/adolescents, the morality of causing others emotional harm, trauma triggers, and the politics of sex radicalism.

Share this episode with your friends and followers on social media, if you think it's valuable. As always, I would love feedback on the ideas in this episode.

Contribute to my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bedroomeyespodcast

TikTok @moonbitchcandles https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRAuUUG3/ 

Email: thejunomanson@gmail.com

Links to references used:

Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality by Gayle Rubin: https://sites.middlebury.edu/sexandsociety/files/2015/01/Rubin-Thinking-Sex.pdf

Korean Spa transgender controversy: https://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2021/06/30/koreatowns-wi-spa-at-center-of-controversy-after-complaint-about-transgender-customer/

Children and sexual exposure resources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/real-healing/201208/overexposed-and-under-prepared-the-effects-early-exposure-sexual-content

https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2007/02/sexualization

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6751001/

https://openpsychologyjournal.com/contents/volumes/V5/TOPSYJ-5-1/TOPSYJ-5-1.pd

Trauma resources:

DSM-V version of trauma: https://www.istss.org/ISTSS_Main/media/Documents/ISTSS_DSM-5_Friedman_FINAL_Updated.pdf

Critiques of DSM-IV version and proposed wider definition: https://www.sagepub.com/sites/default/files/upm-binaries/11559_Chapter_1.pdf

Criterion creep and pre-traumatic stress disorder: https://web.b.ebscohost.com/abstract?direct=true&profile=ehost&scope=site&authtype=crawler&jrnl=15384985&AN=18780399&h=hpg6rRQiEbYaszn%2fmsXrgsWMNJNN6iGQOtifnEbMeUXsU%2bgdEuLeeu4iX4vnRKxhDa%2bpb7GNgGPT1SppYYHwjA%3d%3d&crl=f&resultNs=AdminWebAuth&resultLocal=ErrCrlNotAuth&crlhashurl=login.aspx%3fdirect%3dtrue%26profile%3dehost%26scope%3dsite%26authtype%3dcrawler%26jrnl%3d15384985%26AN%3d18780399

 

Intro/Outro Music:

Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworker
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Consent is Not Radical (Part 3): Erotophobia and Bystander Consent

Consent is Not Radical (Part 3): Erotophobia and Bystander Consent

July 4, 2021

In the third installment of my Consent is Not Radical series, I focus on ways in which radical consent theory reinforces erotophobia by casting sexual acts and expression that occur in public as unethical and harmful when they lack the consent of bystanders who witness it. I talk about why I am opposed to that consent-based standard for judging the ethics and public tolerance of sexual and kinky acts, which is based on a desire to oppose erotophobia and to promote sexual/bodily autonomy. I describe the basics of erotophobia, indecency, and obscenity, as well as how religious ideas about sexuality and purity impact our cultural reaction to public sexuality. At the end, I describe my thoughts about children seeing various forms of kink in public.

This third part of Consent is Not Radical spans two episodes, because there is so much content. So, this is only the first episode. The next one will come out in a couple of weeks.

As always, the thoughts I share in this episode are not set in stone. I am always growing and changing in my opinions, and I am open to critique. I am looking forward to comments, critiques, and questions that this episode raises in listeners. You can share this episode on social media with your own commentary, leave a comment in any of the podcast apps, or email me directly to share thoughts.

To support me in podcast production, donate monthly to my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bedroomeyespodcast

TikTok @moonbitchcandles https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRAuUUG3/ 

Links/References:

Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality, by Gayle Rubin: https://sites.middlebury.edu/sexandsociety/files/2015/01/Rubin-Thinking-Sex.pdf

Sex and Germs: The Politics of AIDS by Cindy Patton:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1862267.Sex_and_Germs

Radical Consent resources:

https://sherights.com/2015/02/10/why-radical-consent-makes-me-a-better-man/

https://reachma.org/what-is-consent-really-hint-its-way-more-than-just-about-sex/?fbclid=IwAR1HVjLkZlGewK1zujSyxkuAlzRhcboE1X8WJfOv-eDrOkjN887NB6BCey8

https://www.rewriting-the-rules.com/conflict-break-up/consensual-relationships/?fbclid=IwAR3UFkMU9UDYtqOSpiruhOm4kHulLbwUiEpBQVKFWdKaqPcKC6A2U923DVE

http://justiceandpeaceconsulting.com/sexuality-education-for-all-bodies/parenting-for-consent-and-healthy-sexuality-workshops/preemptive-radical-consent/

https://theswaddle.com/how-to-ask-for-non-sexual-consent/

https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/11/practice-consent-beyond-sex/

Anthony Comstock: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony_Comstock

Obscenity standards: https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/obscenity

Grocery Store Kink Scene: https://www.ladbible.com/news/weird-photo-of-dominatrix-walking-man-through-supermarket-on-lead-goes-viral-20201019

Kat Blaque video on public kink scenes: https://youtu.be/pnyn7WtD-hw

Kink in Public and Consent: https://lifeofakinkywife.com/consent-and-kink-in-public/

Respectability Politics: https://theundefeated.com/features/respectability-politics-how-a-flawed-conversation-sabotages-black-lives/

https://www.dissentmagazine.org/article/the-rise-of-respectability-politics

Adultism: https://www.youthonboard.org/adultism

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/280102266_Adultism

 

Intro/Outro Music:

Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworker
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We Are All Perpetrators

We Are All Perpetrators

December 28, 2020

This episode is about the fallibility of human beings, sexual violation, the complicated nature of consent, accountability in the age of cancel culture, and the importance of having compassion for our shadow selves. I delve into what it might mean to practice self-accountability and the kind of culture that is most conducive to that process for people.

This episode is also deeply connected to Satanism for me. I question how to apply tenets 1 and 6 of The Satanic Temple to cases of sexual harm in our communities/social networks. The first tenet states, "One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason." The sixth tenet states, "People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused." However, the content of this episode will be relevant to anyone, not only Satanists. 

Note: This episode does not represent the views of The Satanic Temple as a religious organization, and I don't speak for anyone else involved in TST. These are my opinions, and I held them before becoming involved with TST. I am, however, inspired by the tenets and their connection to my own values.

Content warning: there are detailed descriptions of non-consensual sex, because the details are important to disclose in this context. 

Support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bedroomeyespodcast

TikTok @moonbitchcandles https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRAuUUG3/ 

References:

The Satanic Temple 7 Tenets

"We Are All Survivors, We Are All Perpetrators" zine

Mr. Girl "Consent is Complicated" video

Adrienne Maree Brown on transformative justice and cancel culture

"Virtuous Pedophiles" support group for people with pedophilia

Academy of Ideas video on Carl Jung's "shadow self" theory

"Our Story of Rape and Reconciliation" Ted Talk

 

Intro/Outro Music:

Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworker
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Philosophical Clara-fication: Language, Morality, Power, and Politics

Philosophical Clara-fication: Language, Morality, Power, and Politics

September 27, 2020

In this rhizomatic episode, Juno and their semantically-minded friend Clara get critical about philosophical topics ranging from the difference between ethics and morals, morally loaded language, the concept of “linguistic fencing,” selfishness and asking for what you want, cooperative individualism, the coercive nature of society, rejecting the label of “feminist,” radical feminist approaches to gender and the meaning of TERF, as well as domination and submission. 

Support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bedroomeyespodcast

TikTok @moonbitchcandles https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRAuUUG3/ 

 

Intro/Outro Music:

Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworker
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Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported
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Nihilism and The Emptiness of Anarchy

Nihilism and The Emptiness of Anarchy

September 10, 2020
Juno talks about their development of moral nihilism and political pessimism, and their dissolution with the anarchist idealism that they used to have. They also talk about the desire to focus on small, local community building for the sake of creating resilience and pleasure under capitalism in their lifetime, and the importance of recognizing and deconstructing the insidious hierarchies, domination, and power inequality that arise in leftist and anarchist spaces.
 
A lot of this episode is filled with Juno's doubts, skepticism, and questions about things that they don't know the answers to. Feel free to engage in dialogue with them about the content of this episode and to give your critiques. 
 
 
TikTok @moonbitchcandles https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRAuUUG3/ 
 

References

"Because I Wanted To," Kaneko Fumiko: https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/max-res-kaneko-fumiko-because-i-wanted-to 

Intro/Outro Music: 

Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworker
Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com
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Coping with Childhood Abuse as Adults

Coping with Childhood Abuse as Adults

August 17, 2020

Juno and their close friend Benzi talk about their different responses to childhood abuse, abuse as part of intergenerational oppression, how their coping mechanisms for the effects of abuse have impacted their friendship, the difficulty of working while dealing with trauma, and the parent-child dynamic. 

CW: This episode contains some descriptions of abuse.

Support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bedroomeyespodcast

TikTok @moonbitchcandles https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRAuUUG3/ 

 

Intro/Outro Music:

Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworker
Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com
Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported
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Autonomy is an Illusion

Autonomy is an Illusion

July 3, 2020

Juno talks about their new framing of autonomy and agency, based on their skepticism of conscious free will, and how that affects their perspective on behavior change, coercion, and their core purpose for investing in the theory of relationship anarchism.

Juno also talks about their need for funds for sustaining this podcast and improving their housing security and general quality of life. If you would like to donate to these goals, you can pledge a monthly contribution via their patreon: 

https://www.patreon.com/bedroomeyespodcast

You can also make a donation to their paypal. Their account is: thejunomanson@gmail.com or you can use this direct paypal link: paypal.me/junomoriah

TikTok @moonbitchcandles https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRAuUUG3/ 

 

References to writing by Rotten Zucchinis in this episode:

https://rotten-zucchinis.tumblr.com/post/142413778585/of-relationship-anarchy-accessibility-and-sitting

https://rotten-zucchinis.tumblr.com/post/142426615287/of-relationship-anarchy-accessibility-and-sitting

Intro/outro music:

Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworker
Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com
Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported
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Consent is Not Radical: Part 2

Consent is Not Radical: Part 2

May 19, 2020

Trigger warning: this episode includes brief descriptions of sexual coercion and violence.

Before delving into this episode, please listen to Consent is Not Radical: Part 1. In this episode, Juno continues their political critique of feminist consent rhetoric, but with a focus on the language of sexual violence, coercion, and agency, as well as an analysis of victim mentality and how that disempowers us. They also propose liberatory consciousness-raising and self-transformation as integral to dismantling patriarchal sex.

Support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bedroomeyespodcast

TikTok @moonbitchcandles https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRAuUUG3/ 

 

Intro/Outro Music:

Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworker
Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com
Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported
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My Relationship to Fatphobia, Body-Positivity, and Health

My Relationship to Fatphobia, Body-Positivity, and Health

May 12, 2020

A solo episode in which Juno analyzes their own fear of fatness. This was inspired by a Dismantling Fatphobia discussion series that they recently attended. The first half of the episode explores Juno's emotional baggage about approaching the issue, how Juno's fatphobia developed from childhood through adulthood, and what it feels like now. The second half deals with conflicts that Juno has with the anti-fatphobia movement using positivity, beauty, and health as rallying points for anti-oppression work. 

I apologize for the sound quality (some background static) in this episode.

Follow on Twitter: @JunoMariah

Links:

Is It Unhealthy to Be Overweight?

Everything You Know About Obesity is Wrong

Food Psych Episode on COVID19

Intro/Outro Music:

Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworker
Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com
Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported
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Ego Death is the Only Death

Ego Death is the Only Death

April 6, 2020

Juno and their friend Ryan discuss the philosophy of science, the concept of agency, the illusion of the self, free will, how we cultivate open-mindedness, becoming liberated from oppressive ideology, the absurdity of existence, and whether we can know anything. 

Follow on Twitter: @JunoMariah

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